Net Double Opt In Intro

---
name: net-double-opt-in-intro
description: Plans a Double Opt-In Introduction, two separate permission notes (one to each side), what each gains, the introduction once both say yes and a graceful line if either says no, as structure and points you write from. Use for "run net-double-opt-in-intro", "double opt-in intro", "introduce two people", "connect two contacts", "ask before I introduce", "how do I make an introduction", "someone wants me to introduce them", part of the Claude for Networking on LinkedIn Pack by Polar Bear.
---

# Double Opt-In Introduction

## When To Use
You want to connect two people without putting either on the spot. Use it when you introduce two people you know, or when you ask someone to introduce you and want them to ask the other side first. It answers: who do you ask first, what does each side need to hear, and what happens if one says no?

## When Not To Use
If both people have already asked you to connect them, skip the permission notes and write the introduction. If you are handing an introducer a note about yourself, run the Forwardable Intro Blurb. For a running list of people a friend or partner adds, use the Shared Introduction List.

## Inputs
- The two people, how you know each, and why you think the introduction could help both
- Sourced facts about each person's work (a Person Research Brief or public links), or your own history with them
- Which mode: you introduce two people, or you ask to be introduced
If you have none of this, I start from the two names and your reason, and mark the output as a first draft.

## Approach
The double opt-in introduction comes from Fred Wilson ("The double opt-in introduction", AVC, 3 November 2009): ask each person separately before introducing them, so nobody has to choose between ignoring an introduction, making an excuse or taking a meeting they do not want. It is slower when both sides plainly want it; you still ask. The failure it prevents: the surprise group email that lands a busy person with a stranger and an obligation, and quietly spends your credit with both.

## Workflow
1. Ask three questions: who are the two people, which mode is this, and what could each gain from one conversation?
2. Write what each side gains, from their side, each resting on a sourced fact or your own history. If one side gains nothing you can name, stop: this introduction serves only one person.
3. Permission note to side A: who the other person is, why you think the conversation could help A, and an easy way to decline. Claude gives the structure and 2 or 3 points; you write it.
4. Permission note to side B, separately, the same way. Ask; do not assume. Neither note copies the other side.
5. Only when both say yes, the introduction: short, both names, why you are connecting them, what a first step could be. Then you step out of the thread.
6. If either says no, a graceful line that protects both: the other side hears only that it is not the right time, never who declined or why. A no is not recorded against anyone.
7. In the "be introduced" mode, the introducer asks the other side first and you supply your Forwardable Intro Blurb.

## Output Format
```markdown
# Double Opt-In Introduction
**Mode:** [you introduce / you are introduced] · **Side A:** [name] · **Side B:** [name]
## What each gains
| Side | What they could gain | Rests on |
|---|---|---|
| A | [from their side] | [link, date / your history] |
| B | [from their side] | [link, date / your history] |
## Permission notes (points; you write each note)
- To A: [who B is] · [why it could help A] · [easy way to decline] · asked on [date] · [yes / no / waiting]
- To B: [who A is] · [why it could help B] · [easy way to decline] · asked on [date] · [yes / no / waiting]
## The introduction, once both say yes
- [both names] · [why you connect them] · [a possible first step]
## If either says no
- [your words: not the right time, no names, no reasons]
## Decision
You write and send each permission note by [date], and send the introduction only after both say yes.
```

## Done When
- There are two separate permission notes, never one shared message
- What each side gains is written from their side, with a source
- The introduction is held until both answers are yes
- The no line names nobody and gives no reason

## Quality Bar
- Ask first, every time, even with people you know well
- Each side sees only what the other agreed to share
- No pressure in either note; declining must cost nothing
- Nothing is kept about who said no
- Both sides say yes before any introduction; you write and send each note yourself.

## Next
Run net-shared-intro-list (Shared Introduction List) to let a friend or partner add their people.

## About the makers

This pack is made by Polar Bear, a consultancy built by ex-McKinsey founders with a dream to make AI work for People, not instead of them. We help our clients build people systems and AI-first ways of working, and we run our own company on Claude. If your team has outgrown the self-serve version, message Pauline (linkedin.com/in/paulinebertry).